Nur Shaheed

That seems to be the topic of the week! These past few days, Facebook hasn’t be up to speed, and then TwitStamp went down as well. Initially I thought it was my broadband connection, but most other sites are working fine. Even Youtube was acting up a few days ago.

Heck, and now, I’m also not at 100%. Woke up this morning to a sore throat, and probably a flu is coming up. Had to cancel my plan to go across Benjamin Sheares earlier today. I’m going to take a little break this weekend, which is a long National Day weekend by the way, to recuperate.

Some of my friends (on Facebook, a little superficial here) is quite excited about National Day. I was thinking of having something – a promotion, a write-up… – something, to commemorate this significant day of celebrating 44 years of independence. But I couldn’t think of much.

Perhaps I couldn’t feel the sacrifices made by our forefathers who made this country what it is today. Perhaps I forgot the struggle that the nation have survived together. Perhaps I lost interest over the years regarding Singapore, my birth country.

As I grow up, I am exposed to more experiences that have moulded me into who I am today. And I believe, the process will continue, until the day I go 6 feet under. And it makes me wonder, has experience made me more mellow, sceptical and cynical? Or has it made me wiser, patient and tolerant?

I believe there are mixed outcome. On the good side, I am more tolerant, patient and wise when dealing with differences that exist within a multi-racial and multi-religion community. Our colourful background makes us more unique and at the same time defines who we are as Singaporeans.

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Unfortunately, there are also events that took place in my life that reminds me to stay on my toes. Propaganda that smells of hidden agendas, terrorism that exploits piety and hype that only benefits the well done and leaves the trying sprawled on the sinking bottom.

As a child, I was care-free. I made friends with everybody, I played with everybody and I enjoyed their company without a single doubt that they are feeling the same way about our relationship. But somehow, as we grow older, we realised that some people, have other intentions that may not seem justified to us. Why do such things happen? I feel, they happen for a reason and only God knows why. I shall not ponder over it, but I shall do my best to be sincere in my deeds.

The month of Ramadhan is round the corner, and once again, the desire to be an exemplary Muslim is in high spirit. There seems to be a new life whenever this blessed month arrives in my life. I was quite happy with my performance last Ramadhan, and I seek to be better for the coming one.

Quite a number of people have hurt Love and myself since last Ramadhan, and frankly, I am still unhappy with what happened. For one of those whom I felt have done us injustice, I wish to forgive him for the things that he has done. And I wish to seek his forgiveness as well for what I have done or not done to cause him hurt in return.

Sadly, once again, that sense of scepticism and cinic is aroused within me. Am I also being mellow, giving in and allowing him to continue spreading rumours about me or Love? Should I condone such acts of one who proclaims to be a fellow Muslim? Perhaps I shall leave his deeds to be measured by God. Or perhaps I should just stay on my path and avoid unnecessary tension or conflict to cause me, Love and him further pain.

Life as an adult surely has too many crossroads, some of which may not have a u-turn down the lane. I think, the most important matter is that I remain true to myself, and be sincere in my good deeds. To try my best to be the exemplary Muslim, that God has asked of me. May my journey forward lead me to success, in life, and eternity.